Motherlogue

A mother talks motherhood and life

Finding a Mentor November 19, 2009

Filed under: Writing — Liz @ 8:32 pm

I believe in mentors. I’ve always had mentors and I’ve always mentored others at my day job. I am lucky to have a few folks I consider writing mentors, too.

This guest post, One is a Lonely Number, over at Write to Done is a good step-by-step on selecting and approaching a mentor. What the guest blogger, Jules, says might be just the impetus you need to just do it.

Really -  just do it. Find yourself a writing mentor. Chances are anyone you ask will be honored.

If you already have a mentor, how did you find him or her? What benefits have you seen as a result of your relationship? What benefits do you think your mentor realized as a result of the connection? Remember — the mentoring road goes both ways. The mentor and the mentee both benefit from the exchange and the learning that can happen in these relationships.

So, do it. Get a mentor or be a mentor. You’ll be glad you did.

 

Count to 100 November 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 9:13 pm

Before he began kindergarten, our son couldn’t count to 100. He got stuck in the teens or twenties — eleven, twelve, sixteen, thirteen, eleven, twelve, fifiteen…you get the idea. But with the help of his fabulous teacher, he’s been counting higher and within the three months or so since school began, he is now able to count to 100. Part of graduating from kindergarten requires that a child can count to 100, so this is a relief.

At curriculum night his teacher explained that one way she encourages the students to get excited about this task is by having them count out loud in front of the class, when they are ready. If they get to 100, they write their name on a paper that is posted in their classroom and they get 100 stickers, “for FREE!” my son now adds.

In her letter home last week she mentioned that the kids are chomping at the bit to begin this exercise of saying the numbers out loud. She said she was going to start letting them try this week. When I read this I got a little nervous. While our son can get to 100, he still has moments where another number slips in or he stalls at sixty or seventy. But I figured he’d hang on for a while before he volunteered. And we began practicing in earnest.

He came home today proud to report that three girls went first and were successful in their endeavor. And he was even more excited to share that he is on the lineup for tomorrow. Along with two other kids who volunteered to say their numbers. I’m glad that he’s excited. I’m glad that he took the challenge and didn’t hold back. And I am petrified that he might not make it. We practiced three times tonight and he did well, with a few minor stumbles from which he recovered. I will be waiting with baited breath to get the report after school tomorrow.

I feel a familiar knot in my stomach — the one that is there as I recall those moments in my own education when I had to perform in front of my peers. The fitness test each year when we had to hang from the bar on the wall, the times table test a teacher gave me before I could leave another teacher’s classroom, the reading of something I’d written in front of the class.

My son has no history of these moments of terror, and I am doing my best to keep my own fears out of his head. I hope that tomorrow is the beginning of many great moments for him. Regardless of whether or not he makes it to 100, I hope he will always feel the confidence to stick his neck out and learn from the results.

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng

 

Sunday Style: Description – Beyond Reporting to Visioning November 15, 2009

Filed under: Sunday Style, Writing — Liz @ 6:00 am

1159418_key_x_from_vintage_typewriterSunday Style is back at your service after a week’s vacation. I’m returning with a debrief about the fourth session I attended at the Writer’s On The Sound Workshop. This session was Description: Beyond Reporting to Visioning.

Something about this workshop reminded me of being in college. There was a lot of telling and not much doing. As an adult learner, I am one of those people that needs to be an active participant in my learning and I also need to contribute what I know.  The manner in which this session was taught provided me with a good reminder of how to approach learners in my workshops so that my sessions involves them in the process of learning.

I appreciated the challenge of following a more academic lecture and came away with new insights about description, including:

  • Keep a notebook of descriptions you read: include what it is, where it appears in the narrative and why it struck you (this is in the context of something that you read and which grabs your attention as a powerful description)
  • Description can’t bump the reader out of a narrative (this thought is along the lines of making it seem natural and part of the overall piece)
  • Get deep inside your characters and feel what they are sensing

As an example of keeping a notebook, the instructor gave us a handout with about twenty different passages that she felt were noteworthy samples of how to use description. One brief and powerful selection was by Barry Lopez in “White Herons”:

The young gingko trees spaced so evenly along the edge of the avenue seemed like prisoners to him, indentured ten thousand miles from China.

Another sentence from a longer passage she shared from a novel called Joe by Larry Brown was:

A lump of gristle in his neck pumped up and down until he trailed the can away from his mouth with his face still turned up, one drop of beer falling away from the can before it was flung, spinning, backward into the ditch.

As I read I’m finding that I am more aware of description as a result of attending this workshop. Writing this post is a good reminder that I need to start jotting down the examples of description that are relevant to me and which I’d like to emulate in my own writing.

 

Article published in Parents’ Source: Make ‘Em Laugh November 9, 2009

Filed under: Parenting, Writing — Liz @ 9:13 pm

Check out an article that I published in Parents’ Source, a regional parenting magazine in Pennsylvania here. My original title was How Humor Can Help…the new title is Make ‘Em Laugh.

 

Sunday Style: On Hiatus this Sunday (11/8/09) November 5, 2009

Filed under: Sunday Style, Writing — Liz @ 8:40 pm

I will be out of town this Sunday and won’t be able to draft my post about the workshop I attended. Please return the following Sunday for the next installment.

 

Essay in Portland Family Magazine November 2, 2009

Filed under: Writing — Liz @ 10:34 pm

I have an essay, But He’s Not Babysitting, in the November issue of Portland Family Magazine. It’s about life as we know it since my husband became the stay-at-home dad and I went back to work full time. You can check it out on page six here.

 

Sunday Style: The Secret Power of Storyf November 1, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Liz @ 6:00 am

1159418_key_x_from_vintage_typewriterThe keynote speaker at the Writers On The Sound writing conference was Brian McDonald. His talk, The Secret Power of Story, was engaging, interactive and fun…even in the gymnasium of what used to be an elementary school.

At the beginning of the session he took us along the journey of creating a story together as an audience of about 200 people. He ran from one side of the gymnasium to the other, microphone in hand, and helped us build a story using seven basic steps, or triggers, that propelled the action. In the case of our audience, we created a story that invovled a princess, a vacuum cleaner and her evil father, the king. It seems somewhat superficial (only seven steps?), but you can see how these seven steps, or variations of them, are the basis for how most stories move:

  1. Once Upon a Time
  2. Every day
  3. Until one day
  4. And because of this
  5. And because of this
  6. Until finally
  7. Ever since that day

After the group story-telling session was over, McDonald urged us to think of ourselves not as writers (what?!) but instead to think of ourselves as storytellers.

What he shared about stories and storytelling really resonated with me.  He had so many good nuggets, here are just a few:

  • We’re all ravenous for stories, we seek them out. Words are just the device we use to tell stories.
  • Why do human beings tell stories? We tell stories because they contain survival information . Through stories, we benefit from someone’s  experience. And, as a writer, I would argue that we benefit in sharing our experiences.
  • The method or medium in which those stories are shared doesn’t matter – it can be in a comic book, short story, newspaper article, movie, play, etc. What matters is that there is something in that story that speaks to the piece of humanity that transcends all the other stuff on the outside.
  • As a writer, the more personal you are in telling your story, the more invisible you become to the reader.
  • The story that you don’t want to write is the one that you have to share.

In the spirit of stories, Brian wove many stories into his talk. One of these was a profile he heard on This American Life. The profile was about a mother whose child was born with Mosaic Down Syndrome. With this syndrome, a child will possibly develop some characteristics of Down Syndrome, and he may not develop others. When he was born and diagnosed, this mother decided she would not to tell her child that he had Mosaic Down Syndrome until he asked about it. When he began attending school, he noticed that the kids treated him differently. When he asked why, his mother explained that he had some characteristics that were different than the other kids. When the interviewer from This American Life asked him how he felt about being different, this boy said, “Well, I think of it like the X-Men. They were different, but that’s why they were cool.”

Yes, the secret power of stories help us survive.

 

Interview with Sara Backer October 29, 2009

Filed under: Writer Interviews — Liz @ 6:00 am

FUJI-1

I’m thrilled to have had the opportunity to correspond with Sara Backer, author of American Fuji, about her experiences writing this novel as well as her experiences living and working in Japan. Sara will be visiting Motherlogue over the next few days to respond to reader questions. Please post your comments or questions and Sara will respond as time allows.  Thank you, Sara!

Once you knew you were going to Japan, how did you prepare? I read another interview in which the interviewer said your book was included in a care package she received when she was a teacher in Japan. How does it feel to have something you’ve written selected as a travel guide of sorts?

Sara: I didn’t have time to prepare.  I was scrambling to get a passport, visa, “green card” etc. right down to the last minute.  Shipping boxes and storing the rest of my stuff was a big project, not to mention finishing my graduate studies and working as a temp to save money for the trip.  I learned my kana on the plane to Tokyo.  If I were doing it over again, I’d study Japanese while in the U. S. (much easier to learn here than in Japan).  I’d also stock up on underwear.

I didn’t set out to write “a travel guide” but I did include cultural insights I wished I’d known before I moved to Japan.  For example, if I’d only known all the “we Japanese” phrases were merely a result of a popular English textbook, I wouldn’t have regarded them as arrogant.   Had I known Japan was a mind-reading culture, I wouldn’t have felt so slighted by silence.  And I would never have tried to make jokes when introducing myself (which is impolite to Japanese).  I was quite the social clod, which I deeply regret.
What it was like to be one of three women instructors on a college campus. How did you handle that? How many professors were there on the campus total?

Sara: There were about 125 professors in the humanities dept., and probably as many in the other 6 departments. It was a large campus.  I was often mistaken for an (older) exchange student or a secretary.  One time, a Japanese man “corrected” my Japanese when I said I was a university professor telling me I meant my husband was a university professor.  I attracted way too much attention and the endless babysitting (translating documents, etc) that all foreigners require in Japan seemed worse coming from a woman than a foreign man.  However, my students readily accepted me.  I’ve experienced more bias against women professors from American students than Japanese ones.  Things have improved at Shizuoka University since then; I hear than 20% of the humanities faculty is now women.

You were in Japan in the early 1990s and the first edition of American Fuji was published in 2001. Did you know you were going to write this story when you left Japan? Or, did you go to Japan with the plan to write a book once you returned to the United States? I’m interested in learning how the story evolved for you.

Sara: Usually, people who go to live in Japan have prior experience or interest in Japan.  I was rare in that I went for the job and the adventure without being a Japanophile–I could as easily have gone to Brazil or Poland had a teaching opportunity emerged there.  I knew little about the culture and none of the language.  My first year was tough, but I think starting from ground zero ultimately helped my novel because, without a pre-determined agenda, I noticed what Japanophiles tend to overlook, such as the constant barrage of loudspeakers in traffic or the social importance of the neighborhood system of trash collection.  My experience as a woman in a prestigious position (professors have prestige in Japan) and in a provincial city was nothing like what I’d read in other fiction about contemporary Japan and knew I would have to write a novel about it.  I wasn’t sure how I would do it, though, until I read an article in The Japan Times (13 Sep 1991) about an ambitious young businessman who had started a fantasy funeral company to compete with the expensive traditional Buddhist ceremony.  I knew at once I had to put that in my novel and that’s when the overall structure clicked.

I loved the cast of characters in your novel, in many ways they reminded me of the eccentric people I met while I was in Japan. When you first began writing, were all of the characters present and accounted for in your mind, or did they “arrive” as you continued writing?

Sara: I lived with the characters in my head a long time before I started writing the book.  Walking through tea fields, I’d be fantasizing conversations between Gaby and Alex.  For me, the process is like gathering spokes of a wheel.  The spokes never make sense until you hold enough together to fit into a rim.  That moment, when the wheel holds together, is when I begin to put a story on paper.

You were able to skillfully weave the yakuza (gangster) culture into the novel. What kind of research was required for you to convey such a realistic picture of the yakuza lifestyle and experience?

Sara: Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but the truth is that my “research” was my personal observations and conversations with my Japanese friends.  Yakuza have been dramatized in film as dangerous, twisted, finger-hacking mobsters.  I never met any like that.  I wanted to show the “daily grind” variety of yakuza I came across in Shizuoka City–the ones in construction work, Pachinko parlors, race tracks, and various small businesses.

It sounds like you met yakuza during your time in Japan…how did you meet them? Do you think yakuza are more accepting of foreigners than other Japanese? Have you read Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein? I just heard an interview with him this past weekend about his experiences as a crime reporter in Saitama for 12 years.

Sara: I haven’t read Tokyo Vice but I read an interview with Jake Adelstein and the book sounds terrific.  As a crime reporter in Tokyo, he was talking to much higher level yakuza than I was as a professor in Shizuoka. I met lower working class yakuza: construction workers, pachinko parlor workers, a lovely young man who installed an air conditioner in my apartment, and so forth.  Like Adelstein, I do believe yakuza can talk to foreigners more easily because they are also outsiders in a sense.

From a tactical approach, did you know the story’s ending before you began? How did you go about writing your first draft? I recently attended a conference and one of the instructors was emphatic that an author must know the ending before beginning the story – since the workshop I’ve been busy asking published authors about the validity of this “you must know the ending” theory!

Sara: I never outline a novel.  The rewarding part for me is exploring my material.  If I know exactly where I’m going, it’s no pleasure to get there. That said, I did have a theme (the arc of alienation and forgiveness) and some scenes in mind from the beginning.  I knew I wanted to end at the top of Mt. Fuji, but I didn’t know which character(s) would be in the final scene until I’d written most of it.  My first love was theater, so I begin with characters, draft in scenes, and sort out the plot later.

Did you also have a “day job” while you were writing American Fuji? If so, what techniques or processes did you use to write a novel and still maintain another job (e.g., did you write every morning or after work or on your commute)?

Sara: Oh, man, I wish I knew the answer to this one.  I always have a day job–still do–and I have yet to find a way to keep writing while I’m teaching.  Teaching is a mind-consuming job as well as a time-consuming one.  Basically, I only write in the summer, which is why it takes me so long to finish writing each novel.  In those precious two months of the year I get to write, I write every morning, go for a walk, and then either write more or handle all the other stuff of life that must get done.

American Fuji has been translated into Spanish and Italian – congratulations! Are there any plans to translate it into Japanese? Have you had any reactions about your book from Japanese readers?

Sara: Thank you.  In addition to the Italian and new Spanish edition, American Fuji also came out in French, Dutch, and Polish.  Japanese rights have not been sold, although my Japanese readers are among my most ardent fans and I have had many personal offers to translate American Fuji into Japanese.  One Japanese woman wrote that she was “impressed, more like scared” by my “keen observation” of Japanese culture.  For example, I said that Japanese enter with apology and exit with gratitude.  She was unaware that, but after reading American Fuji, she recognized she and her family do indeed do that.  Japanese readers also tend to recognize and appreciate the character of Marubatsu much better than American readers, who find him over-the-top.  Several readers have said Marubatsu reminded them of their supervisors.

What are you currently writing?

Sara: I just started a new novel last summer and can’t wait to go back to it.  I can’t tell you details because I’m superstitious.  I’m convinced talking about a novel before it’s written is a sure-fire way to never finish writing it.

What advice do you have for aspiring novelists?

Sara: Hmm.  Well, enjoy what you do or don’t do it.  If by “aspiring” you mean seeking publication, that’s both easier and harder than ever.  Easier, because you can self-publish POD or simply start a blog and share your writing with anyone.  Harder, because fewer people read fiction much less buy it and the publishing industry, from booksellers to publishers, is in tough shape.  This makes the competition that much more daunting for writers.  If it’s money you want, writing fiction is a silly way to try to get it; you have better odds buying lottery tickets.  Which brings me back to “enjoy what you do.”  I can’t say writing is “fun” (like, say, a beach party) but, to me, it’s the most rewarding struggle, and I love the process for its own sake.

What do you miss most about Japan?

Sara: I miss so many things–the deep bathtubs, fresh green tea, trains that run on time, safe streets to walk at night, cheap dry cleaning, riding my red bicycle to the ocean, hiking Sengen Jinja (an entire hill that is a Shinto shrine), or just looking out my balcony to see if I could see Mt. Fuji.  But most, I miss the way people communicate in metaphor.  For example, someone might say “my mind is like a firefly” in ordinary conversation without being thought of as strange.  Please visit my blog (http://americanfuji.blogspot.com) to see photos I took and glimpses of my frustrating and magical life in Japan.

Once again, many thanks to Sara for taking the time to share her insights and experiences about writing, Japan and life as a gaijin in her novel and with us at Motherlogue.

 

American Fuji October 27, 2009

Filed under: Reading — Liz @ 10:21 pm

FUJI-1A few weeks ago I finished reading American Fuji by Sara Backer.  From the moment I saw this book on the shelf of my local, independent bookstore, I knew I had to read it. It’s about an American woman, Gaby Stanton, who is living in Shizuoka, Japan and teaching university-level English…that is until she gets fired and begins working for a fantasy funeral company, Gone With the Wind. Stanton meets Alex Thorn, a father who comes to Japan to answer questions about his son’s death while he was a student at the university where Gaby was employed.  Gaby and Alex are just two of the wonderful, creative cast of characters that Backer weaves into this compelling story.

Of course I can relate to much about this novel — being a gaijin woman in Japan, teaching English, riding in taxis with drivers who asked if I liked natto (bean paste), the ups and downs of relating to Japanese culture, and even ordering a pizza to be delivered. Backer has a great gift for sharing details of life in Japan that brought me right back to my experiences living there more than ten years ago. I found myself nodding (or was I bowing?) and laughing out loud.

Although the setting is what initially drew me to the book, what I also appreciated was that American Fuji is about real life and a real Japan. The action takes place in many places that one might not read about in typical books about Japan: a race track, a gaijin bar, a hospital (this made me think of my favorite, hospital scene in the movie, Lost In Translation). At the core, American Fuji is about illness, heartache, outcasts, regrets, new beginnings and it just happens to be set in Japan.

I was so impressed by the novel that I decided to send Sara an e-mail telling her how great I thought it was. And while I was at it, I asked her if she’d be willing to share her thoughts in an interview here at Motherlogue. She graciously agreed.

Tune in on Thursday to read our conversation about Japan, about yakuza and about writing.

 

Sunday Style: Writing True Stories October 25, 2009

Filed under: Writing — Liz @ 6:00 am

1159418_key_x_from_vintage_typewriterAs someone who enjoys writing personal essays, this session, Writing True Stories, really appealed to me when I saw it on the schedule for the Writers On The Sound Writing Conference.  Portland author Gigi Rosenberg led the session; she’s currently working on a memoir about the time she spent with her husband and daughter in Italy while he was teaching there.

I could relate when Gigi said she’s considering making her middle name Sparrow when she submits to The Sun. That got a chuckle from most everyone in the room, and it was encouraging to be reminded that all writers get rejections.

Nuggets I took away from the session about writing:

  • If you’re stuck, go to the senses — write about the details of what it is to be you.
  • Stay in the scene.
  • Worried about hurting people with your memoir? Write your truth, with love, and then you can’t be unfair. Think of it as, “According to me, this is what happened.”

Observations about facilitation or teaching style:

  • Lead feedback sessions by having the writer say what type of feedback they want — she even said at times she tells her writing group, “This piece is done, I’m only reading it to you as a final step. Only tell me what works.” In our session she asked volunteers to read what they had written during the freewrite and then we all wrote down any phrase, word, or image that really worked for us. Then, when the person was done a few people read their lists and we all passed our lists to the reader. It’s a nice, positive way of highlighting what is working in a piece.
  • Be honest. One of the participants volunteered to read her writing. As she began it was clear she’d written a piece about people sitting in our workshop. She started the piece by saying something like, “I’m in Edmonds at a writing workshop. The instructor is at the front, she’s thin with dark hair.” And, she continued to explore our group of participants and included specific details, from her perspective as a doctor, about two other participants who had visible health limitations (a woman in a wheel chair and a man who used an oxygen tank). The piece was quite lovely and well-written. But, it was also shocking and gave a good illustration about memoir and writing about real people and how one should generally let someone know about a piece that will be made public if it involves them. Gigi handled it brilliantly, she said she had never had this happen before and that normally one should get permission before sharing that type of piece. She said that she hoped the two participants weren’t offended and that they could discuss more after class. That was it and she moved on. I admired that she was honest, upfront and effectively communicated that it was inappropriate without being confrontational or wasting the class time.

This session was useful not only in the writing nuggets, but in the example of a teaching style that I admired. Gigi’s approach served as a good reminder that a writer who makes her living using words can do that via the page as well as thorugh her voice. Tune in next Sunday for session three from the conference: The Secret Power of Story.