Sunday Style: On Hiatus this Sunday (11/8/09) November 5, 2009

I will be out of town this Sunday and won’t be able to draft my post about the workshop I attended. Please return the following Sunday for the next installment.

Essay in Portland Family Magazine November 2, 2009

I have an essay, But He’s Not Babysitting, in the November issue of Portland Family Magazine. It’s about life as we know it since my husband became the stay-at-home dad and I went back to work full time. You can check it out on page six here.

Sunday Style: The Secret Power of Storyf November 1, 2009

The keynote speaker at the Writers On The Sound writing conference was Brian McDonald. His talk, The Secret Power of Story, was engaging, interactive and fun…even in the gymnasium of what used to be an elementary school.

At the beginning of the session he took us along the journey of creating a story together as an audience of about 200 people. He ran from one side of the gymnasium to the other, microphone in hand, and helped us build a story using seven basic steps, or triggers, that propelled the action. In the case of our audience, we created a story that invovled a princess, a vacuum cleaner and her evil father, the king. It seems somewhat superficial (only seven steps?), but you can see how these seven steps, or variations of them, are the basis for how most stories move:

1. Once Upon a Time
2. Every day
3. Until one day
4. And because of this
5. And because of this
6. Until finally
7. Ever since that day

After the group story-telling session was over, McDonald urged us to think of ourselves not as writers (what?!) but instead to think of ourselves as storytellers.

What he shared about stories and storytelling really resonated with me.  He had so many good nuggets, here are just a few:

• We’re all ravenous for stories, we seek them out. Words are just the device we use to tell stories.
• Why do human beings tell stories? We tell stories because they contain survival information . Through stories, we benefit from someone’s  experience. And, as a writer, I would argue that we benefit in sharing our experiences.
• The method or medium in which those stories are shared doesn’t matter – it can be in a comic book, short story, newspaper article, movie, play, etc. What matters is that there is something in that story that speaks to the piece of humanity that transcends all the other stuff on the outside.
• As a writer, the more personal you are in telling your story, the more invisible you become to the reader.
• The story that you don’t want to write is the one that you have to share.

In the spirit of stories, Brian wove many stories into his talk. One of these was a profile he heard on This American Life. The profile was about a mother whose child was born with Mosaic Down Syndrome. With this syndrome, a child will possibly develop some characteristics of Down Syndrome, and he may not develop others. When he was born and diagnosed, this mother decided she would not to tell her child that he had Mosaic Down Syndrome until he asked about it. When he began attending school, he noticed that the kids treated him differently. When he asked why, his mother explained that he had some characteristics that were different than the other kids. When the interviewer from This American Life asked him how he felt about being different, this boy said, “Well, I think of it like the X-Men. They were different, but that’s why they were cool.”

Yes, the secret power of stories help us survive.

Interview with Sara Backer October 29, 2009

I’m thrilled to have had the opportunity to correspond with Sara Backer, author of American Fuji, about her experiences writing this novel as well as her experiences living and working in Japan. Sara will be visiting Motherlogue over the next few days to respond to reader questions. Please post your comments or questions and Sara will respond as time allows.  Thank you, Sara!

Once you knew you were going to Japan, how did you prepare? I read another interview in which the interviewer said your book was included in a care package she received when she was a teacher in Japan. How does it feel to have something you’ve written selected as a travel guide of sorts?

Sara: I didn’t have time to prepare.  I was scrambling to get a passport, visa, “green card” etc. right down to the last minute.  Shipping boxes and storing the rest of my stuff was a big project, not to mention finishing my graduate studies and working as a temp to save money for the trip.  I learned my kana on the plane to Tokyo.  If I were doing it over again, I’d study Japanese while in the U. S. (much easier to learn here than in Japan).  I’d also stock up on underwear.

I didn’t set out to write “a travel guide” but I did include cultural insights I wished I’d known before I moved to Japan.  For example, if I’d only known all the “we Japanese” phrases were merely a result of a popular English textbook, I wouldn’t have regarded them as arrogant.   Had I known Japan was a mind-reading culture, I wouldn’t have felt so slighted by silence.  And I would never have tried to make jokes when introducing myself (which is impolite to Japanese).  I was quite the social clod, which I deeply regret.
What it was like to be one of three women instructors on a college campus. How did you handle that? How many professors were there on the campus total?

Sara: There were about 125 professors in the humanities dept., and probably as many in the other 6 departments. It was a large campus.  I was often mistaken for an (older) exchange student or a secretary.  One time, a Japanese man “corrected” my Japanese when I said I was a university professor telling me I meant my husband was a university professor.  I attracted way too much attention and the endless babysitting (translating documents, etc) that all foreigners require in Japan seemed worse coming from a woman than a foreign man.  However, my students readily accepted me.  I’ve experienced more bias against women professors from American students than Japanese ones.  Things have improved at Shizuoka University since then; I hear than 20% of the humanities faculty is now women.

You were in Japan in the early 1990s and the first edition of American Fuji was published in 2001. Did you know you were going to write this story when you left Japan? Or, did you go to Japan with the plan to write a book once you returned to the United States? I’m interested in learning how the story evolved for you.

Sara: Usually, people who go to live in Japan have prior experience or interest in Japan.  I was rare in that I went for the job and the adventure without being a Japanophile–I could as easily have gone to Brazil or Poland had a teaching opportunity emerged there.  I knew little about the culture and none of the language.  My first year was tough, but I think starting from ground zero ultimately helped my novel because, without a pre-determined agenda, I noticed what Japanophiles tend to overlook, such as the constant barrage of loudspeakers in traffic or the social importance of the neighborhood system of trash collection.  My experience as a woman in a prestigious position (professors have prestige in Japan) and in a provincial city was nothing like what I’d read in other fiction about contemporary Japan and knew I would have to write a novel about it.  I wasn’t sure how I would do it, though, until I read an article in The Japan Times (13 Sep 1991) about an ambitious young businessman who had started a fantasy funeral company to compete with the expensive traditional Buddhist ceremony.  I knew at once I had to put that in my novel and that’s when the overall structure clicked.

I loved the cast of characters in your novel, in many ways they reminded me of the eccentric people I met while I was in Japan. When you first began writing, were all of the characters present and accounted for in your mind, or did they “arrive” as you continued writing?

Sara: I lived with the characters in my head a long time before I started writing the book.  Walking through tea fields, I’d be fantasizing conversations between Gaby and Alex.  For me, the process is like gathering spokes of a wheel.  The spokes never make sense until you hold enough together to fit into a rim.  That moment, when the wheel holds together, is when I begin to put a story on paper.

You were able to skillfully weave the yakuza (gangster) culture into the novel. What kind of research was required for you to convey such a realistic picture of the yakuza lifestyle and experience?

Sara: Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but the truth is that my “research” was my personal observations and conversations with my Japanese friends.  Yakuza have been dramatized in film as dangerous, twisted, finger-hacking mobsters.  I never met any like that.  I wanted to show the “daily grind” variety of yakuza I came across in Shizuoka City–the ones in construction work, Pachinko parlors, race tracks, and various small businesses.

It sounds like you met yakuza during your time in Japan…how did you meet them? Do you think yakuza are more accepting of foreigners than other Japanese? Have you read Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein? I just heard an interview with him this past weekend about his experiences as a crime reporter in Saitama for 12 years.

Sara: I haven’t read Tokyo Vice but I read an interview with Jake Adelstein and the book sounds terrific.  As a crime reporter in Tokyo, he was talking to much higher level yakuza than I was as a professor in Shizuoka. I met lower working class yakuza: construction workers, pachinko parlor workers, a lovely young man who installed an air conditioner in my apartment, and so forth.  Like Adelstein, I do believe yakuza can talk to foreigners more easily because they are also outsiders in a sense.

From a tactical approach, did you know the story’s ending before you began? How did you go about writing your first draft? I recently attended a conference and one of the instructors was emphatic that an author must know the ending before beginning the story – since the workshop I’ve been busy asking published authors about the validity of this “you must know the ending” theory!

Sara: I never outline a novel.  The rewarding part for me is exploring my material.  If I know exactly where I’m going, it’s no pleasure to get there. That said, I did have a theme (the arc of alienation and forgiveness) and some scenes in mind from the beginning.  I knew I wanted to end at the top of Mt. Fuji, but I didn’t know which character(s) would be in the final scene until I’d written most of it.  My first love was theater, so I begin with characters, draft in scenes, and sort out the plot later.

Did you also have a “day job” while you were writing American Fuji? If so, what techniques or processes did you use to write a novel and still maintain another job (e.g., did you write every morning or after work or on your commute)?

Sara: Oh, man, I wish I knew the answer to this one.  I always have a day job–still do–and I have yet to find a way to keep writing while I’m teaching.  Teaching is a mind-consuming job as well as a time-consuming one.  Basically, I only write in the summer, which is why it takes me so long to finish writing each novel.  In those precious two months of the year I get to write, I write every morning, go for a walk, and then either write more or handle all the other stuff of life that must get done.

American Fuji has been translated into Spanish and Italian – congratulations! Are there any plans to translate it into Japanese? Have you had any reactions about your book from Japanese readers?

Sara: Thank you.  In addition to the Italian and new Spanish edition, American Fuji also came out in French, Dutch, and Polish.  Japanese rights have not been sold, although my Japanese readers are among my most ardent fans and I have had many personal offers to translate American Fuji into Japanese.  One Japanese woman wrote that she was “impressed, more like scared” by my “keen observation” of Japanese culture.  For example, I said that Japanese enter with apology and exit with gratitude.  She was unaware that, but after reading American Fuji, she recognized she and her family do indeed do that.  Japanese readers also tend to recognize and appreciate the character of Marubatsu much better than American readers, who find him over-the-top.  Several readers have said Marubatsu reminded them of their supervisors.

What are you currently writing?

Sara: I just started a new novel last summer and can’t wait to go back to it.  I can’t tell you details because I’m superstitious.  I’m convinced talking about a novel before it’s written is a sure-fire way to never finish writing it.

What advice do you have for aspiring novelists?

Sara: Hmm.  Well, enjoy what you do or don’t do it.  If by “aspiring” you mean seeking publication, that’s both easier and harder than ever.  Easier, because you can self-publish POD or simply start a blog and share your writing with anyone.  Harder, because fewer people read fiction much less buy it and the publishing industry, from booksellers to publishers, is in tough shape.  This makes the competition that much more daunting for writers.  If it’s money you want, writing fiction is a silly way to try to get it; you have better odds buying lottery tickets.  Which brings me back to “enjoy what you do.”  I can’t say writing is “fun” (like, say, a beach party) but, to me, it’s the most rewarding struggle, and I love the process for its own sake.

What do you miss most about Japan?

Sara: I miss so many things–the deep bathtubs, fresh green tea, trains that run on time, safe streets to walk at night, cheap dry cleaning, riding my red bicycle to the ocean, hiking Sengen Jinja (an entire hill that is a Shinto shrine), or just looking out my balcony to see if I could see Mt. Fuji.  But most, I miss the way people communicate in metaphor.  For example, someone might say “my mind is like a firefly” in ordinary conversation without being thought of as strange.  Please visit my blog (http://americanfuji.blogspot.com) to see photos I took and glimpses of my frustrating and magical life in Japan.

Once again, many thanks to Sara for taking the time to share her insights and experiences about writing, Japan and life as a gaijin in her novel and with us at Motherlogue.

American Fuji October 27, 2009

A few weeks ago I finished reading American Fuji by Sara Backer.  From the moment I saw this book on the shelf of my local, independent bookstore, I knew I had to read it. It’s about an American woman, Gaby Stanton, who is living in Shizuoka, Japan and teaching university-level English…that is until she gets fired and begins working for a fantasy funeral company, Gone With the Wind. Stanton meets Alex Thorn, a father who comes to Japan to answer questions about his son’s death while he was a student at the university where Gaby was employed.  Gaby and Alex are just two of the wonderful, creative cast of characters that Backer weaves into this compelling story.

Of course I can relate to much about this novel — being a gaijin woman in Japan, teaching English, riding in taxis with drivers who asked if I liked natto (bean paste), the ups and downs of relating to Japanese culture, and even ordering a pizza to be delivered. Backer has a great gift for sharing details of life in Japan that brought me right back to my experiences living there more than ten years ago. I found myself nodding (or was I bowing?) and laughing out loud.

Although the setting is what initially drew me to the book, what I also appreciated was that American Fuji is about real life and a real Japan. The action takes place in many places that one might not read about in typical books about Japan: a race track, a gaijin bar, a hospital (this made me think of my favorite, hospital scene in the movie, Lost In Translation). At the core, American Fuji is about illness, heartache, outcasts, regrets, new beginnings and it just happens to be set in Japan.

I was so impressed by the novel that I decided to send Sara an e-mail telling her how great I thought it was. And while I was at it, I asked her if she’d be willing to share her thoughts in an interview here at Motherlogue. She graciously agreed.

Tune in on Thursday to read our conversation about Japan, about yakuza and about writing.

Sunday Style: Writing True Stories October 25, 2009

As someone who enjoys writing personal essays, this session, Writing True Stories, really appealed to me when I saw it on the schedule for the Writers On The Sound Writing Conference.  Portland author Gigi Rosenberg led the session; she’s currently working on a memoir about the time she spent with her husband and daughter in Italy while he was teaching there.

I could relate when Gigi said she’s considering making her middle name Sparrow when she submits to The Sun. That got a chuckle from most everyone in the room, and it was encouraging to be reminded that all writers get rejections.

Nuggets I took away from the session about writing:

• If you’re stuck, go to the senses — write about the details of what it is to be you.
• Stay in the scene.
• Worried about hurting people with your memoir? Write your truth, with love, and then you can’t be unfair. Think of it as, “According to me, this is what happened.”

Observations about facilitation or teaching style:

• Lead feedback sessions by having the writer say what type of feedback they want — she even said at times she tells her writing group, “This piece is done, I’m only reading it to you as a final step. Only tell me what works.” In our session she asked volunteers to read what they had written during the freewrite and then we all wrote down any phrase, word, or image that really worked for us. Then, when the person was done a few people read their lists and we all passed our lists to the reader. It’s a nice, positive way of highlighting what is working in a piece.
• Be honest. One of the participants volunteered to read her writing. As she began it was clear she’d written a piece about people sitting in our workshop. She started the piece by saying something like, “I’m in Edmonds at a writing workshop. The instructor is at the front, she’s thin with dark hair.” And, she continued to explore our group of participants and included specific details, from her perspective as a doctor, about two other participants who had visible health limitations (a woman in a wheel chair and a man who used an oxygen tank). The piece was quite lovely and well-written. But, it was also shocking and gave a good illustration about memoir and writing about real people and how one should generally let someone know about a piece that will be made public if it involves them. Gigi handled it brilliantly, she said she had never had this happen before and that normally one should get permission before sharing that type of piece. She said that she hoped the two participants weren’t offended and that they could discuss more after class. That was it and she moved on. I admired that she was honest, upfront and effectively communicated that it was inappropriate without being confrontational or wasting the class time.

This session was useful not only in the writing nuggets, but in the example of a teaching style that I admired. Gigi’s approach served as a good reminder that a writer who makes her living using words can do that via the page as well as thorugh her voice. Tune in next Sunday for session three from the conference: The Secret Power of Story.

Science Night October 24, 2009

Last night we attended our first Science Night hosted by the PTA at our older son’s school. It was a fabulous event – a live owl, a snake, turtles, a Caveman who tested your Nature IQ, a Jelly Bean experiment, a robot from the high school’s robotics team, the list goes on. Our older son was excited and eager to make the rounds of the halls with which he is now familiar. I was surprised that he was especially eager to go everywhere that one of his girl classmates went.

Even more surprising was how interested our younger son was in this event. The owl mesmerized him, the task of locating metal treats by using a magnet to sift through popcorn kernels provided endless fun and he was anxious to get a grip on the worms from the compost bin.

Our younger son turns two years old in about three weeks and recently I’ve found myself in amazement at all that he can do at such an early age. He remembers to brush his teeth, he gets his shoes when we’re getting ready to leave the house, he loves to help cook (and will drag over the chair from our table so that he can help at the counter), he throws and kicks balls with amazing accuracy, he has definite opinions…which he is happy to share, often adamantly, he can hurl food across our dining room with a zeal that  I don’t recall from his older brother and he is now combining words when he talks to us: “I do that,” or “I want Daddy,” or “I got you.” And he’s not even two yet!

I find myself wondering if I am Rip Van Winkle and I’ve missed a year or two and he’ll actually be turning three or four on November 11. As a mama who now measures much of my life based on the timeline since he and his older brother arrived in my life, I know that these early years are going to start to move even more quickly. Soon I’ll be wondering where my sons’ teen years went, how they got to be so tall, where their huge hands came from? Seeing both of them race through the Science Night events was yet another reminder to stop and enjoy their small hands, even if they are the same sweet hands that throw tortellini with uncanny precision.

Happy Anniversary, Motherlogue! October 20, 2009

In looking at my blog stats, I just realized that October 13 marked one year that I’ve been blogging – happy anniversary. In a year, this blog has helped me get comfortable writing:

Consistently
With less self-editing
For an audience

Thanks for reading, everyone!

Sunday Style: Make the Most of A Conference October 18, 2009

The first session I attended at the Write On The Sound (WOTS) Writer’s Conference was about how to make the most of a writing conference. I thought it was a good choice for me as this conference was indeed my first. I was surprised by how helpful the session was;  I went in expecting it to be sort of boring — this is where you find the restrooms, please be sure to wear your name tag, etc. But it was none of that. I came away with good perspective and a few tools, a few of which I’d like to share in this Sunday Style installment.

Create a mission statement for the conference

The session started with the two presenters, Jennifer McCord and Roberta Trahen, asking us to write our personal mission statements for the conference. Working in a corporation with a powerful mission statement has made me a believer in mission statements. I’ve seen how they can work, but I don’t often think of making or creating them for myself, especially not in the setting of a conference. But I found this exercise very valuable. My statement?

I’m attending this conference to gather tools for my writing toolkit — fiction tips, non fiction and publishing insights and to connect with others in this writing community.

It’s a pretty simple statement. But, at the end of the two-day conference I looked at what I’d set out to do and it felt great to be able to say that I’d achieved my mission for the conference.

Be open to unexpected opportunities

Jennifer and Roberta couldn’t have been more right when they reminded me and the other 60 or so folks in the room to be open to unexpected opportunities. One of the best opportunities for me was meeting author Jennie Shortridge at the conference. I sat next to her in a session and then was a participant in a session she facilitated about asking questions and how that relates to writing. I immediately enjoyed connecting with Jennie and when I came home, I sent an e-mail and asked if I could host her at Motherlogue during her tour for her most recent novel, When She Flew.  She agreed! I’m so glad that I was open to the opportunity to connect.

Misconceptions About Publishing

In our session Roberta and Jennifer provided us with a list of ten misconceptions about publishing. I found all of them valuable, but picked three to share because they really resonated with me and will continue to serve as good reminders as I go forth in this writing journey:

1. A rejection letter means it’s all over. (No it doesn’t, they reminded us that a rejection letter provides an opportunity to examine deeper and to look for the keys in the letter that might help you unlock something!)
2. Publication = sales. (This is another reminder about the importance of having a platform and being able to market your writing.  It’s sad, but it’s true…just because your book gets published doesn’t mean it will sell.)
3. She said yes, but she was just being polite. (Jennifer said that she met an editor who told her that only 10% of the people she spoke with at conferences ever sent her what they’d discussed and what she’d asked them to send. The other 90%? Never to be heard from again. They didn’t send her anything, possibly because they thought the editor was “just being nice”. The message I took from this was, editors don’t joke around about this type of thing. If they ask for it, send it.

This was a great session to kick off my conference experience. And the learning just continued. Tune in next Sunday for highlights from the second session I attended: Writing True Stories.

Parent-Teacher Conference October 14, 2009

In two days my husband and I will attend our first parent-teacher conference. I have mentioned previously that I am a big fan of our older son’s kindergarten teacher. From the first moment I saw her in the Kindergarten Parents Open House, I knew she was a good egg. I am looking forward to our meeting with her. And, I am wondering what it will be like. What will she tell us about the things she’s noticed about our son’s interactions? His style? His preference for using all caps rather than both upper and lower case letters? His fascination with patterns?

As I wonder what our discussion will look, sound and feel like, I find myself comparing our twenty-minute meeting to the parent-teacher conferences in Japan where a teacher visits the home of every student in their class. I think this may happen all the way through junior high school. I imagine it’s a lot of pressure for families as well as teachers to do this type of visit. I’ll just say I’m glad we don’t have to worry about picking up the toys or baking a homemade treat for our discussion on Friday. I just want to focus on learning how our son is doing socially and academically.

Tonight I looked through the many papers that the school sends home, but couldn’t find the one that had suggested questions to ask the teacher. My husband and I agreed that it couldn’t be too difficult. And, he wisely wrapped up the conversation by saying, “Well, it’s just a meeting so that she can tell us our kid is brilliant, right?”

My point exactly. And no, if you’re wondering, we aren’t at all biased.

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